How To Beat Depression By Transforming Your Life

This is part 1 of a 3 part blog series on how i beat depression by transforming your life. In this first post I'm going to reveal how I recovered from alcoholism and depression.  

How To Beat Depression - By Transforming Your Life 

Why do you need to have goals?

In this blog I’m going to reveal four extremely important reasons why you definitely need to have goals if you want to beat depression.

My name is Stephen Boylan. I am the Managing Director of Clear Minds Limited, and I’m also the Founder of the Beat Depression Formula.

So to begin with it, in this video I’d like to take you all the way back to 2005.

Yes, all the way back to 2005.

In 2005, I just made a massive decision—to finally deal with the drugs and alcohol problem, the depression, and anxiety that was taking over my life and has taken over my life for the past 11 years.

I finally made the decision to go to group therapy.

How Goals Changed My Life Forever 

So, I want to tell you a little bit about why goals are so important, what I really did that really helped me to start setting goals, and how goals really helped me to transform my life.

If I take you all the way back:

I remember going into the building.

It’s like a little bit of a hospital building where I went into.

You get that horrible cleaning smell when you walk into a hospital.

I remember walking up the stairs, a couple of flights of stairs, to get to the room.

So I walk up these couple of flights of stairs and I get to the room.

I look through this like a little bit of a window in the door. So you could look in through this little bit of a window. I looked in through this little bit of a window and I see about 20 people.

Face Your Fears And Do It Anyway

I’m feeling really anxious about going in there, after all I’ve been through all them years.

I’m really, really anxious about walking in. If you’d have been with me, you’d seen how anxious I actually was walking into this place.

So I walk into the room. The guy who was running the group, his name was Peter, he came over to me and he introduced himself.

His name was Peter Booth.

I always remember Peter, because he was the guy who really helped me to change my life.

I’d love to meet him again, but I don’t know how to get in contact with him.

But anyway, I walked in and Peter introduces me: “This is Stephen.”

Everybody in the group would—you had to choose whether you wanted to share what’s been going on for the past week for you, what you’re hoping to get, what you want to do, all of them.

People were going round sharing.

It came to me. I’m feeling really anxious: “Should I share? Should I not share?”

I’m feeling really anxious.

I said what I’ve been doing, how my life has been a complete mess all them years.

There’s been a lot of people in similar situations to me.

I said, “I want to deal with this drink problem—I don’t want to drink alcohol.”

I remember a big guy who sat across away from me. I can’t remember his name, but I remember him saying to me: “If you don’t want to drink, just don’t drink!”

I remember thinking: “Well, it’s easier said than done.”

When I look back, he was so right.

"How to beat depression - by transforming your life​"

Change Your Behaviour And Change Your Life Forever 

If you don’t want to do something, you need to do something different.

That’s what you need to do if you want to change something. If you don’t want to do the same thing that you’re always doing, you need to replace it with something else.

This is a key way that reveals how to beat depression and it's essential if you want to beat depression. 

I’m going to tell you a bit more about how you do that as I go through this video.

So, he says that to me. I’m sort of thinking at this point, “How do I do this?”

I remember Peter saying to me: “If you want to beat alcohol and deal with alcohol and drugs and stuff, you need to be setting yourself a goal. You need to set yourself a goal.”

Peter says, “What would you think would be a realistic goal for this week for you to do in terms of not drinking?”

I remember thinking: “Well, I’d like to not drink at all!”

I remember him saying: “Well, that’s just a bit too realistic when you’ve been drinking the way you’ve been drinking for all them years.”

One Goal Changed My Life Forever 

I say: “Well, okay then. I’ll go for one day. So I’ll go for one day where I won’t have a drink.”

I think it was a Monday.

I said: “I won’t have a drink on the Monday.”

So that was my goal for that week.

That was my very first goal that I’ve ever set in my life, was to not have a drink one day of the week.

I set that goal and then I go away from the group and I work on that goal.

I didn’t have a drink on the Monday.

I was looking so forward to going back to the group to tell them that I hadn’t had a drink for that one day.

Even though that wasn’t that massive a deal, but back then that was a massive achievement for me.

I felt so good that I actually achieved that one day!

So, a goal doesn’t have to be massive. It only has to be very small. Because then you can set another goal, and then you can set another goal, and then you can set another goal.

This blog reveals how to beat depression - by transforming your life and that's exactly what you need to do if you want to beat depression.  One goal at a time, and one step at a time until you beat depression. 

I went back to the group and told everybody.

Everybody gives you a clap when you done something really good.

It made me feel really good.

My next step was to not drink for two days of the week. I set that goal, to not drink for two days of the week.

I achieved that.

My next goal was to not drink for three days of the week.

I achieved that.

Three days became four days.

Four days became five days.

Five days became six days.

Six days became a week.

A week became a month.

And a month became a year.

That was how I dealt with the drink problem, by setting goals.

That’s why goals are so important.

5 Reasons Why You Need To Have Goals 

What I’ve put together is a little bit of a presentation that I’m gonna share with you for absolutely brilliant reasons why you definitely need to have goals.

It’s really important to have goals.

These are just four reasons that I could think of. There are absolutely millions of reasons why you definitely need to have goals. But these are the four of the best reasons why I think you definitely need to have goals.

Reason #1: Goals help you to challenge self-doubt.

That self-doubt in your mind is really, really powerful. That thought that you’re a failure, you’ll never be able to do this: “I’ll never be able to cope. I’ll never be able to beat depression. I’ll never be able to get past this anxiety. I’ll never be able to deal with them drugs.”

They are really self-critical thoughts. They prevent you from taking action.

If you got your thoughts constantly going round in your mind: “You’ll never do this. You’re a failure. You’re a letdown.” You’re not gonna want to move forward.

But when you set goals—small goals that are achievable, and that you can physically go and do—and you achieve it, it changes that self-critical self-doubt. It challenges it. Because you’ve done it, you’ve achieved it. And then it makes you want to do it again.

That’s why it’s important not just to do a goal for once. You got to do it over and over and over again so it really challenges that self-doubt.

The next reason is: Goals help you to feel good.

It really does help you to feel good, when you set yourself a goal.

That’s why setting goals is so important. Because it makes you feel good. It releases the natural chemicals in the brain that make you feel good when you achieve something that was maybe a little bit of a chore. Like for example: This morning I’m trying to lose weight. I’m trying to lose weight in time for Christmas. So I’ve been going to the gym and I’ve been doing a run and going for a swim. This morning, I’m sort of like contemplating in mind, “Oh, should I go in and have a swim instead of going for the run?” In the end, I said, “No; I’m not gonna take the easy route. I’m gonna go the hard route and I’m gonna do the run.”

And I did run.

Because you’re mind is so powerful. It will prevent you from taking action. But when you do take action, like I went and hit the gym and did the swim and after the steam room and I felt good. Because I achieved that goal that I set myself out to do. I felt good about it because it released the natural chemicals in the brain.

That is reason #2, why you need to have goals. Because it makes you feel good.

The next reason is that goals help you to keep focused.

When you plot a goal correctly: In my next video, I’m gonna share with you how you can plan goals and how you can make your goals work for you. Because they need to be planned correctly if you want to achieve your goals. And I’m gonna share with you in my next video exactly how you do that.

If you keep focused and you’ve set your goal so you know what day, what time, you’re gonna do something, it becomes a force of habit.

A goal needs to be specific. It needs to have a definitive time and date when you’re gonna do it by. Otherwise, it’s not a goal. It needs to have a date and time that you’re gonna actually do it. Like, I’ve been going to the gym from half past nine until 11 o’clock every day. That’s what I’m doing before I start work, before I do anything, that is what I’m doing. Obviously, I got to drop the kids off and the wife off at work. But before I start work, I go to the gym and I do that.

That’s why I’m getting into that routine, so it becomes like a second nature for me. That keeps me focused. I know that I’m gonna go to the gym at that time. It keeps my mind occupied and it keeps me focused and it helps me to lose the weight, like I’m trying to do. I’ve been losing. I’ve lost a stone in weight. So, I’m doing really, really well. But I wanna lose even more, as we always want to do.

The final one (This is a biggie!): Goals help you to change your life.

Like it did for me when I started setting them little goals, I have now completely changed my life, by setting myself goals.

I’ve had different goals through out my life: academic goals, personal, physical goals; mental goals, you name it.

I’ve had lots of different goals. By setting goals, I’ve changed my life.

That’s what goals can do for you, if you set goals on a regular basis, and these goals are your goals.

Where my goals is to go swimming, or what have you, goals I’ve had in the past, they’re my goals. You need to set your own goals that you’re passionate about.

When you’re passionate about something, it’s easier to do. That’s why you need to find out what you’re passionate about.

Next Blog Reveals How To Generate Your Own Goals 

In another video I’m gonna be sharing very soon, I’m gonna help you to generate your goals that you can start to work towards. Your goals, what you are passionate about.

So, that it pretty much it for this video.

I hope you found that useful.

And I hope you now see the reasons why you need to have goals.

Thanks for watching this video.

I’ll see you in the next one, where I’m gonna dive into helping you to get some goals set that you can start moving forward, you can start feeling good about yourself, you can challenge that self-critical doubt, and you can keep focused, and eventually you can move one step closer to changing your life.

So thanks for watching this video and I’ll see you in the next one

Recommended Blogs To Reading

 3 Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Tips To Reclaim Your Happiness 

Stephen Boylan Dip Couns, PG Cert MHCBT, REG MBACP

Stephen Boylan is the CEO of ClearMinds Limited and he is the founder of the BEAT Depression Formula. Stephen is passionate about helping people to beat depression and anxiety by helping them to develop solution focused strategies that enable them to deal with key problems that maintain depression and anxiety.

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